Here’s that mood again. So tell me…what if a person was not meant to be born? How is their life justified? Does the life that was not meant to be actually have purpose?
Deep questions for a dreary day.
I know a lot of babies these days born outside of the traditional home. I feel a sense of connection for those born out of wedlock. Do they use that word anymore? I don’t know. I guess it’s the new norm. Seems no one even knows virginity these days. I didn’t way back then either. Every generation drifts farther and farther from that biblical “family unit” we were taught from our grandparents. I’ve read the millennial generation is more likely to live together than risk getting married, to risk getting divorced. I don’t agree, but I thoroughly understand.
So mom gets pregnant. Sometimes dad stays, mostly he moves on. Sometimes we have two moms, and sometimes, two dads. Seems there is no “norm” these days.
In some ways I sure do wish the “anything goes” philosophy was accepted back in my day. Do the kids of today feel the awkwardness from being born as the result of a “non-biblical” situation? Has society evolved enough that no one cares?
I felt it…the rejection. In some ways, I still feel it. The lies Satan whisperers in my ear:
- “My parents had to get married because of me.”
- “Their hardships were my fault because I came too early.”
- “Six months after our wedding? Oh no, our baby was early.”
- “We’re so sorry we got pregnant, it was an accident.”
- “You’re nothing but an embarrassment.”
- “I see another zit…are you ever going to clear that thing up?”
- “You’re just a fat whore yourself!”
- “So you survived those illnesses, surgeries, and accidents? Maybe the world would be better off if…”
Oh yes, I’ve heard it all. The excuses, the cover-ups, the lies. So, what it boils down to is, I wasn’t supposed to be here. Right? Maybe. But doesn’t God himself breathe life? If so, why did He breathe life in me if I was not to be? Would I not have survived those near death experiences if I were not to be here?
I wonder if my own experience is the basis for my deep pro-life stance. My empathy generates great passion for the unborn, unwanted, and unloved. What right do I have to life if another is aborted or abandoned? Why me and not another?
Sometimes…I really do wish I could take their place…