Keep the Dogs Out! Proverbs 19

Day 19 ~ Proverbs 19*

“Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
   but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” ~Proverbs 19:14

Does our world respect the marriage union? An antonym for prudent is reckless, which is a lack of self-control based in self-centeredness. To be prudent is to be careful, cautious, and wise.

God said in Genesis 2:24 “the two shall be one.” How can a couple be “one” unit if their Love Tanks are being filled outside the marriage? Love is to want the best for the other person and leave our desires aside. Paul said in Ephesians 5:25 (NLT)For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Now, I don’t believe he meant for husbands to physically die, but rather to give up his desires, dreams, and wants; to replace his personal (self) desires with a desire for his marriage as a unit. And, yes, that’s easier said than done…especially in our world. It’s no different for women. Our first priority is to God, then our family…our immediate family. (God also said to leave our parents!)

How can we identify a lack of respect for the marriage union? When interacting with your married friends, are you showing the most attention to your friend’s husband? Do you seek private conversation with him? Do you call your friends’ husband to plan events? Do you seek out married men on social media? Do you continually come up with things which we need “the husband’s help” (i.e. change a light bulb)? Do you show up at your friend’s house when she’s not home and end up spending time with her husband? Are you confiding in a married man and sharing your heart with him? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then I would highly question what’s happening in your heart. In today’s world, more than half of marriages will suffer through an affair. Most affairs begin with friendship, a counseling situation, or a work relationship. The most likely person to be an affair partner is a close friend of the opposite sex. But, isn’t our spouse supposed to be our best friend?

Affairs begin with dissatisfaction in the mind. Too many marriages have been destroyed by men who transfer their desires to a young air-brushed fantasy on-line, in a magazine, or in sleazy movies. When a mind is focused on physical perfection, will an aging bride ever satisfy? Too many marriages have also been destroyed by a woman who is not satisfied with her position in the home, expecting her husband to give in to her control. Decisions become one-sided. When respect is lost for a husband who cannot fill a need for satisfaction that only God can fill, she turns her focus outside the relationship. The illusion is that the grass is always greener on the other side; the truth is that the grass is only green on the side that is watered.

We need to water our side of the fence. Your marriage is like a garden to water, protect, nurture, and cherish. Keep the weeds and the dogs out! Guard the sanctity of your marriage. Too many of us live with the destruction of divorce. Before we become reckless, shall we be prudent? If God gives you someone, why would you not cherish them?

Be wise. Be careful. Be prudent.

“The foolishness of a man twists his way,
And his heart frets against the Lord.” ~Proverbs 19:3

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**The above is an excerpt from the devotional book I wrote while living in Ukraine for nearly 10 months in 2016. If you enjoy devotionals with beautiful artwork that you can doodle as you read…my Proverbs Devotional & Doodles book can be found through The Thinking Tree Publishing Company on Amazon here: Proverbs Devotional & Doodles. You can also order direct from CreateSpace: Proverbs Devotional & Doodles.  … The proceeds help support the mission work in Ukraine!

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Top Three Leadership Qualifications: Proverbs 31

Have you followed any of the many “Leadership Guru” forums? Believe it or not, I believe all those forums can be condensed into just three points, the three taught in Proverbs 31. If we get these three points right, every step will fall into place.

Since this is the 31st day of the month…below is an excerpt from the 31st day of the Proverbs devotional I wrote while living in Ukraine. Since this chapter is such a favorite, and the last in the book, it is twice the length as the previous 30 chapters. I guess I just felt wordy on that last day! 😉 Honestly, the 31st chapter is packed full of great little nuggets!

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Day 31 ~ Proverbs 31

The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:” ~Proverbs 31:1

When most people refer to Proverbs 31, the Noble Wife is the usual commentary, describing what is commonly known as The Virtuous Woman. This section of the Proverbs is an interesting study as verses 10-31 are an alphabetic acrostic in Hebrew, comparable to Psalm 119.

The first 9 verses, however, are an isolated oracle written by a mother to her son, with the counsel given by a father listed in chapter 4. History shows the name Lemuel (meaning Devoted to God) to possibly be a name of endearment given to King Solomon by his mother, Bathsheba. Only in more modern times has the identity of the subject been questioned. Unfortunately, seeing as specific names were not given, their true origins may have been lost unto historical nonexistence.

The oracle was written as a prophetic admonition, possibly out of a mother’s desire for her son’s success. Most mothers’ counsel is derived from past experience and a desire for their children to avoid the same mistakes made from their own life. Ironically, the three pieces of advice this mother gave were the very actions that eventually brought King Solomon to his ruin: flippant relationships, self-indulgence, and a slothful attitude toward injustice. Bathsheba would have been well equipped to warn of the consequences of these sins; the very sins of which she and King David, Solomon’s father, were mercifully forgiven and restored. Centuries later, our leaders continue to embellish the same sins. We are still human. Her advice to her son, the King, could most certainly be applied not only to our government leaders of today, but to anyone in a leadership position, especially the family father.

The influential role of the mother has been greatly diminished in modern times. While the role of the father has become known for absenteeism, most people do not realize the correlation to the diminishing role of the mother. With more than a third of American households being raised by a single parent, mostly by the mother, great concern is growing over the moral decline in our society. Our children are raised without the stability of the security in a family unit, resulting in higher poverty, crime, drug usage, and lack of education. The issue is not whether the home is run by a single dad or a single mom, the issue is that neither parent is a constant in the home. Unfortunately, in modern society, most two-parent homes have two-parent incomes. The children are left to raise themselves through babysitters and day-care.

I find the addition of a woman’s instruction in a man’s world to be very comforting. Solomon was attributed the wisest man of all time therefore his mother’s penned words must have been very influential to be included in the ancient scrolls. Never underestimate the hand that rocks the cradle. Most of scripture was written by men and toward men. Yet this passage contains the words of a woman giving instruction to her son, a man, a King. With such high importance placed on one oracle, it is disheartening that her words fall on deaf ears to most of our leaders today. Corruption in high places has been at work since the beginning of mankind.

“What, my son?                                                       
     And what, son of my womb?
          And what, son of my vows?” ~Proverbs 31:2

In older translations, the chapter begins with his mother asking the question, “What?” What are you doing? Are you paying attention? Listen! Since the time-frame is not given as to when in Solomon’s life the oracle was written, it is possible his mother saw in his youth warning signs of potential problems. We all have tendencies toward certain temptations. Some temptations are more common in higher positions or stations in society. This mother wished to get her son’s attention to bring a warning for pitfalls of someone of his status. This mother very wisely was teaching him that the responsibility of a King is not to be taken lightly. In James 3, we are told that teachers will receive a stricter judgment. How much more for a King? In 2nd Peter 2, a description is given of the consequences of false teachers who lead people to destruction. Her desire was for her son to lead responsibly.

“Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” ~Proverbs 31:3

The passage gives three separate pieces of advice for successful leadership; relationship, sobriety, and advocate. The first piece of advice has been ignored by politicians and pastors alike all throughout history. Many a mighty man has fallen from the public eye due to sexual indiscretions. With the introduction of the Internet, pornography is the number one ‘secret’ sin of today’s clergy. The temptation can be overwhelming. Bathsheba knew this first hand. Bathsheba and King David’s indiscretion resulted in two deaths, a divided family, and a lost kingdom. While their hearts were forgiven and restored in relationship with God, the consequences can be felt to this day. We need to be very careful and selective with whom we are in relationship.

“It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
     It is not for kings to drink wine,
Nor for princes intoxicating drink;
     Lest they drink and forget the law,
And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
     Give strong drink to him who is perishing,
And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
     Let him drink and forget his poverty,
And remember his misery no more.” ~Proverbs 31:4-7

The second admonition is in mind altering substances. This piece of advice should be simple common sense. But even in our society today, drunken parties for politicians are the norm. Will a people put trust in a leader who is not clear minded while they are issuing judgments, decrees, and laws? Without morality we have only chaos. Alcoholism and self-medicating are rampant. She points out that those who are perishing or are in anguish drink to forget their troubles, though her urging to give strong drink is not for a King. Her son has a greater responsibility than to be self-focused. A good King, Ruler, or Teacher, a good Parent, is focused on those whom the Lord has put under their care. From the President/King all the way down to the parent in the poorest family, the quality of leadership is destroyed when alcohol or drugs control the mind. Just as a King is responsible for the condition of the Kingdom, Dad and Mom are responsible for the condition of the family.

“Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
  Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.” ~Proverbs 31:8-9

The final plea this wise mother instructs her son is simply to do good. I believe she knew from experience within her own family how imperative righteous ruling is. James 4:17 says, “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” Do we sit by idly, being more concerned about our own skin, watching those under us get trampled? Do we use our position to aid those less fortunate? Most Kings and leaders throughout history succumbed to the influence of power followed by arrogance. Self-serving leaders support only those who are able to give back to their establishment or campaign. But to the little people, the poor and needy, or the unjustly charged, these leaders are mute and turn a deaf ear. Jesus said the first will be last and the last will be first. If we are in a place of position, God honors the humble in heart and giving in spirit.

Whether we are the ruler of a nation, or a stay-at-home mom, leadership comes with great responsibility. Lemuel’s mother very wisely conveyed the three most important aspects of righteous leadership: stay away from physical indulgence, keep a clear head, and use the position to benefit others.

“Learn to do good;
     Seek justice,
Rebuke the oppressor;
        Defend the fatherless,
Plead for the widow.”
~Isaiah 1:17

**If you enjoy devotionals with beautiful artwork that you can doodle as you read…this can be found through The Thinking Tree Publishing Company on Amazon here: Proverbs Devotional & Doodles. You can also order direct from CreateSpace: Proverbs Devotional & Doodles.  … The proceeds help support the mission work in Ukraine!

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The comfort Isaiah gave…

If there is one person I could pick to meet in heaven, that would be Isaiah. I’ve often wondered what he looks like. In my obscure mind, my image of our heavenly bodies is of an age of perfection. Mine? Well…if there ever was an age where my body was at its best, it would have to be before kids! For men though, they seem to mature much later than women…in more ways than just the physical. Don’t mock…that’s a proven psychological fact, per the so-called experts! Just look at Hollywood. Women are done by the time they are old enough to attend the R-rated movie they just starred in! Men? Well…I’ll have to save my comments about Sean Connery for another post… 😉

Elihu said in Job 32:9 “It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right.” Meaning, even though he gives the impression of being aged, Isaiah could well have been a young man. Proverbs 16:31 says “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” Did Isaiah have gray hair? Was he bald? Most women lost their “crowns” when Miss Clairol came to town!

These are just rambling thoughts. We really don’t know. Some days I hate the loss of anonymity with the discovery of digital photography. Centuries from now our offspring will look back at us and say, “Geez, could she wear anything more outdated than that?”

Without knowing the nature of their physical appearance, their words are profound to a much greater degree. We are able to hone in on the message rather than be distracted by crooked noses or dumbo ears. Applying the message to our lives is their ultimate goal. Maybe that is the reason God did not allow our brains to comprehend the technical until this century. Could be?

The message Isaiah conveyed in chapter 54 has been life to my soul for the past 15 years or so.

I am fine without a man around. As a child, my dad was not around much. Although it’s not his fault and I do not blame or hold anything against him, it was just the way life was. He was gone at sea for months or in Nam during the Navy days. When civilian life hit, he always worked two and three jobs, and always second shift, with me in school during the day. I remember most of his time at home on Sunday afternoons taking a nap in his recliner. Through my 20’s, my ex-husband also worked evenings/nights, leaving me alone to care for the kids. Needless to say, I learned early not to physically depend on any man.

Yet, I secretly yearned for that umbrella; that sort of protection that a “man” covering provided. I think every woman does. It’s in our nature, no matter how we fight to be independent. So we seek out people in our lives to provide the kind of emotional security no man has ever been equipped to provide. Men search too…just in different areas. They seek security in their careers or physical escapades. I think we humans tend to seek to fill our holes in places that are temporal or were not created to “complete” or make us whole.

Oh my, the relief when I first read Isaiah 54 and realized I already had that protector! That chapter was an uncanny reflection of my life, written centuries ago! I was that bride who married young, only to be rejected. But God spread my “tents” and filled them with His little blessings. He has proven over and over that He, and He alone, is my provider. He has never failed me. He takes care of me…of me!

A few years ago I finally quit expecting others to fill only that which God is able. My fulfillment is not their responsibility! No, I don’t need a husband, kids, family, friends, job, house, dog, or cat to fulfill my deepest longing, that longing for security. The things of this world are temporal. Only God, our creator, can provide the eternal. Only He is able to flow his Spirit through our soul and bring wholeness!

My life did not follow the path I planned, but God in his mercy restored to me that which the locus had eaten (Joel 25). My faith is in God, my protector, my provider, my promise. He has also restored to me an earthly husband to be my umbrella while here on earth. I now have a beautiful foretaste of the security we will one day experience in our eternal home.

I now have hope.

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~Isaiah 54

 

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Fifty Shades of Lust

Bleach is one chemical I refuse to reject. When whites do not come out of the washer as white as white, they are promptly run through a re-cycle with a load of bleach. Oh yes, my whites are white…not any shade of grey!

I’ll make this post short. A while back, I wrote a piece about porn and its effects on marriage and family here: From a Wife’s Perspective. That post was, admittedly, not one of my best…kind of dry. I really should take the time to re-write, but life and too many other thoughts keep distracting me.

The main theme is the destruction on the marriage and family. Yet, a deeper side-effect is the damage to the psyche. After immersing into the world of lust, the images are embedded in the memory, without help from God above to renew the mind. Trust me…I’ve seen firsthand the fallout.

Most men don’t realize the women in front of the camera are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s future wife, somebody’s future mother. And girlfriends, that man behind the camera is nowhere close to the kind of love we all desire.

What are we committed to? Where are our loyalties? If you are not committed to your marriage, you are flirting with adultery and divorce. Men, do you not realize that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure? Women, do you not realize one woman’s knockoff is another woman’s designer wardrobe! If you treasure your marriage (or future marriage) your whole heart will be in it. You will protect it. You will love, support, and cherish your spouse. Sex was created by God himself…and it is beautiful. Abuse only distorts God’s creation. Love the way Jesus loves us, with a pure and faithful love.

Do we all not desire identity? At the root of all desire is the need for fulfillment. How can anyone be whole, secure, or complete if their heart is focused on the temporal? Everything, yes everything on this earth will eventually decay…including that beautiful fantasy.

The eternal is all that will fill the holes in our hearts. Put your identity in Him.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made from the hands and heart of our creator!

(Instead of supporting an industry that exploits the abuse of women, donate to your local women’s shelter instead…you may just save a life!)

Psalm 139.14.

Just a Box of Chocolates

With four kids, funds were tight back in December of ‘91. But, isn’t that the way it goes every Christmas? Quite often, my ex would complain about the money I spent…yet he was the one who… No, I’m not going to get into all that. This is a particular story that happened one Christmas that shows so many elements of human nature. And yet, do we learn from the past? Or do we ignore and continually hit the repeat button?

Trying to be thrifty, I had a list of each person to buy gifts and the amount to spend. Most of the kid’s gifts were purchased throughout the year as I stumbled on a sale somewhere. But, occasionally (well, I admit, more than occasionally. I am such the procrastinator!), I ended up with a few misplaced gifts and had to make that proverbial rush to the stores before they closed for the holidays!

That year was no different. The week before Christmas, I was naturally rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything done. My in-laws were coming to visit for the holidays so the white gloves had to come out, plus adding that last minute run to the mall. When everything was done and complete an hour before they arrived, you can’t imagine the relief I felt! Maybe just this once, there wouldn’t be the typical drama created by snide remarks and nit-picking. (I’m such a dreamer… 😉 )

My kind-hearted aunt on my dad’s side was also coming to visit for the holidays, staying with my parents who lived about a half hour away at that time. I was looking forward to seeing her, even though I had a hard time trying to decide what to get her for her Christmas gift. Since I didn’t see her that often, I didn’t know what she would like and I wanted it to be special. The week before (no, she was not one on that last minute gifts list!), I had a brainy idea to have my in-laws bring down a box of specialty chocolates from our favorite sweet shop and I would pay them when they arrived. It was the perfect plan…

But alas…nothing is perfect…and all plans are never full-proof…

Christmas Eve, and the stores are already closed. My in-laws arrived with the box of chocolates. As I started to head back to wrap it up for my aunt, I heard my mother-in-law say, “Oh, when we stopped by the candy store, this was the only box they had left in chocolates, so we brought it for you for Christmas! I’m sorry about your aunt; you can give her something else.”

I stopped…silent…

Oh well, no big deal. I thought to myself, I’ll just hide the box in my room and give it to my aunt anyway, since I wouldn’t be seeing her until after the in-laws left. And…still the perfect plan! But…

(Don’t you just hate the “But” word??)

Christmas Day, after the gifts were opened and as we are cleaning up the paper thrown all over by the overly excited kids, I hear my ex exclaim, “Where’s that box of chocolates? Get it out; aren’t you going to share with us?”

And so…not wanting to be the “bad guy” on Christmas Day, I brought out that last box of chocolates. My mind was racing to figure out what to gift to give my aunt now that the stores were all closed. At least my ex would be happy to satisfy his sweet tooth. As I passed my chocolates around, I thought it would be perfectly acceptable to at least grab a few pieces for myself as they were quickly disappearing. In the assorted boxes of chocolates, most of the pieces have fruit or cream in the center. I have never liked anything in my chocolates except nuts or occasionally caramel. If they would have asked me for my preference, I would have told them to avoid the assortment boxes, but those were the kind my in-laws liked, so that is what they bought…for me…for my Christmas gift. When the box came back around to my ex, he angrily exclaimed, “You took all the good pieces!” Hmmm… And yet…he always liked the cherry filled chocolates which everyone left for him.  **Sigh**

And…just whose gift was it anyway?

Next year…buy me some socks!

“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” ~Philippians 2:1-4

The Marriage Controversy…Not a very popular topic…

I’ve seen a few posts lately about divorce causing more destruction to the breakdown of the family unit than same sex marriage. I agree. After a couple of “fun” posts, here we are on a more serious note…and my mind seems to be jumbled tonight. I guess my thoughts are about the disintegrating family, divorce, same-sex marriage, and blame-shifting. Not very popular topics in today’s world.

At this point, I should say that if you do not believe in God, you won’t agree with this post. And that’s fine, I am not your judge, nor do I want to be. Though I’m sure not perfect, these are my beliefs. You are welcome to disagree…and leave a comment. 🙂

The biggest problem, as I see it, with both the world and the church is the inability to be able to differentiate between the sin and the person. The world would have us believe that to accept the person; we have to accept the sin. The church traditionally believed the person is the same as the sin and both are unacceptable. The modern church has shifted to accepting the sin in the name of tolerance. Yet, Jesus always loved the person while condemning the sin. And then…there’s the argument over what constitutes sin…

Since I am one who questions everything and tries to get to the source, or the bottom, of every issue; where is the progression? How far down will the “Christian” family fall? Where will it end? To figure that out, maybe we should figure out where it began…

The garden. The beginning and fall of mankind. Otherwise referred to as “original sin”. The love of self.

In the world of roping, a three-stranded chord cannot be easily broken. The typical Christian family consists of a dad, mom, and child: Three-stranded chord. This phenomenon is synonymous with the picture God gave in the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Three in one. Where does this foundation originate? From the beginning, from Genesis. It originates from a book, scrolls, which have existed for centuries, and proven over and over.

Unfortunately, in our politically correct society, any comment contrary to an acceptance of homosexuality is deemed as hate and bigotry. Most don’t understand how to hate the sin while loving the person. Any comment contrary to divorce being a normal part of life is deemed as antiquarian. In reality, divorce has done more to destroy the foundational family unit than the gay marriage issue. I should know…I’ve been divorced.

But do we really want to find out what God thinks? Most don’t. Jesus himself said, “Not everyone can accept this word.” ~Matthew 19:11 Most Liberal Christians dismiss the Old Testament, using the excuse that the Cross changed everything; but ignoring the words of Jesus, “… I have not come to abolish them [the laws] but to fulfill them.” ~Matthew 5:17-20

Then there is the argument that Jesus did not specifically talk against homosexuality. Yet, Jesus talked a lot about “sexual immorality” which was understood as being anything outside of marriage.

Scripture teaches…when it comes to “sexual sin”, anyone who was not a complete virgin when they married is guilty. Period. And these days…that pretty much encompasses most all of us! We’re all guilty. So, there you have it. That in and of itself should sum up any and every argument. No? Well then…

Basically, God said man is to leave mom and dad and cleave to his wife and become one. He did not say for man to cleave to his husband; or wife to cleave to her wife. The Old Testament is clear that marriage was between male and female. Jesus reiterated the same scriptures in the new testament: “Have you not read that at the beginning, the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ” ~Matthew 19:4-5 & Genesis 2:24

Liberal Christians tend to not believe in the literal bible or the individual interpretations of what God did and did not want. They argue that actions do not affect others and who marries and who doesn’t is only their business. They proclaim if we do not accept their life-style we do not accept the person. As a result, our courts are creating laws against our Constitution thereby changing our society. Our government did not define marriage, God did.

So where does the gay agenda lead? Where does the progression stop? Where do we draw the line? Is not the basis of the homosexual movement about financial “rights” or “equality”? Money. Facts show homosexuals are not monogamous. It doesn’t take deep research to find that most people in the homosexual lifestyle got there due to abuse and pain in their past. Hurt people hurt people. I myself hate “churchy” people, and it is true, we are to love God and our neighbor above all else. But just like a parent will teach his child right vs wrong, and lead them to that which is in their best interest, out of love, are we to accept actions contrary to God’s righteousness or what is in society’s best interest to show love? Is that really love? Where the conservatives and the church have failed is to maintain love for the person while not accepting behavior which is destructive. You don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. Acceptance without compromise was the quest of Jesus. He showed love to the outcast, followed by telling them to stop sinning. He never compromised. He always accepted the sinner without accepting the sin. I’ve had gay friends…I’ve had divorced friends…I’ve had religious friends. Believe it or not, though he hates our sin, God loves each and every person.

This leads back to my first question…where does all this acceptance mentality lead? I think the evidence of that is coming. This article states, “Earlier this year two psychologists in Canada declared that pedophilia is a sexual orientation just like homosexuality or heterosexuality.” Pedophiles now want same rights as homosexuals. So, is bestiality next?? Gay marriage proponents claim Pedophiles are a whole different discussion and would affect someone, namely the child, whereas a homosexual marriage does not affect anyone but the couple. On the surface, this sounds, sound, but is bent and deceiving. While the child is directly affected from a pedophile, children of same sex homes are just as ruinously affected…as well as children of divorce, etc. To say any action does not affect the next person is both naive and irresponsible. Does creating a law of acceptance deem the action morally right? Lest we forget…slavery was once legal and socially acceptable. “No man can give me the right to do what is wrong.” ~Abraham Lincoln

In 2 Peter 2:4-10 we are told that God did not spare angels, the ancient world before the flood, nor Sodom and Gomorrah, as they are examples of what is going to happen to the ungodly. Jesus said in Luke 17:22-37 that the end times will be as the days of Lot and describes what will happen. Jude 1:7 says Sodom and Gomorrah gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion…which translates homosexuality. The people living in Jesus’ day understood the concept of the destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah so I’m sure Jesus did not feel the need to go into detail. The account of Lot and the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah can be found in Genesis 19. Abraham pleaded for his nephew’s life so God sent two angels, in the form of men, to bring Lot out before the towns were destroyed. In verse 5, the men of the town surrounded the house and demanded Lot send the men out so they could have sex with them. Long story short…God rained down burning sulfur and destroyed the cities. Pretty much shows how God feels about that life-style. Even though God is a God of love, he is also a God of justice. If you really want to find out what God’s word says about who ends up where, check out: Revelation 21:8, Revelation 22:15, & Revelation 22:18-19. Notice he says liars will be in the same place? One notable correlation…notice the names of the cities? These two names are the root of “sodomy” from which the act of homosexuality comes from and “gonorrhea” from sexual disease. Also take note that even though God pronounced a death judgment on the towns, in his grace, he did provide an escape for any who would leave. All but Lot and his family chose to stay, clinging to their depraved lifestyle. As with any sin, any life-style, God always provides a way out.

Beyond the gay marriage issue, the best way to destroy the family is to divide mom and dad. I don’t think I need to repeat statistics of divorce here…everyone knows the numbers are too high. To counter those stats, studies now show the generation coming into adulthood these days, the Millennial Generation, prefer cohabitation to marriage. I can’t say that I don’t understand. I do. But though we know cohabitation, which leads to an even higher divorce rate, is not the answer, to a generation who grew up with no family foundation, it seems “safe”.

This post is growing like Jack & the Bean Stalk, which turns off the short attention span of today’s readers. Therefore, I won’t go into the perils of divorce again here…my first two posts on this blog described the destruction divorce leaves in the family… {1st post here} & {2nd post here}. Basically… “Children look at the family unit as a reflection of the God-head, the Trinity: God the Father, Jesus the marriage, and the Holy Spirit the family unit (Eph. 5:22-33). In divorce, no matter what the cause, the family is split, and the Spirit is severed. The God-head correlation is distorted. Their security in the unity they once rested has disappeared. The consequence is a warped view of what constitutes love. Children lose sight of God’s love for them when the love of the family grows cold. They wonder how God can love them when the example of the God-head before them has split into two households.”

Last question…just who is responsible for the destruction of the family, for the downfall of our society?

The Silent Generation. The generation from WWII. With the end of the war, women donned high heals and headed to the workforce, creating the first latch-key children…the Baby-Boomers. The generation that sky-rocketed divorce. The first major separation of the family. So, that’s it. The Silent Generation fell slack in their responsibility to the family, causing the high divorce rate of the next generation. Therefore, it’s not the same-sex marriage issue of today that has caused the distortion of the family. It’s not the high divorce rate of our generation. It had to be the generation before…when mom left the kids to babysitters and entered the workforce. And yet…who do they blame? Who do their parents blame…their parents?

  • The Millennial Generation (1982-2004) blames Generation X.
  • Generation X (1965-1984) blames the Baby-Boomers.
  • The Baby-Boomers (1946-1964) blames the Silent Generation.
  • The Silent Generation (1925-1945) blames the Greatest/GI Generation.
  • The Greatest/GI Generation (1901-1924) blames the Interbellum/Lost Generation.
  • The Lost Generation (1883-1900) blames the…

(**See Reference links below)

And so on…see where this is going?

It couldn’t be my generation’s fault.

Society attempts to lessen the devastation of divorce by blame-shifting responsibility for the destruction of the Christian culture to the prior generation. The downward turn increases with each subsequent generation. Just as Eve blamed the serpent and Adam blamed Eve, and God, each generation blames the prior generation; their lack of commitment; their lack of stability, they were too strict, they were too lax, etc. After all their parents were the ones who raised this dysfunctional generation. And so on…

The last question should be, just how do we fix it??

I know I have been in sin, as has every human, but through Jesus’ death and resurrection we have salvation, a way out of the city. I wouldn’t want to call good, that which we know in our hearts to be evil, just for the sake of Political Correctness. There is freedom only in truth. Only God can make a blind man see His truth…not your truth, not my truth. But we also need to be careful about “thumping” religion over their heads. God’s truth must be told in Love…for only Love covers a multitude of sins. God is a God of restoration. Forget the do’s & don’ts. Instead, recalculate. (Love that commercial!) In Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus replied to the lawyer, all the laws depend on just two commandments, to love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. If we get those two paths straight, our whole legal system is unnecessary. We must renew our minds and fill up with God’s love to wash out deception. Immerse ourselves in the word, which gives hope…hope for a life-style free of negative consequences. That does not mean we will not have drama…we still live in a fallen world. But we will have inner peace. The more we fill ourselves with the Love of God, the less we will be interested in the deception of self or the desire to satisfy our carnal nature…the less we will desire sin.

We cannot be good in and of ourselves. It’s only God’s goodness in us that makes us good. His grace is what rescues us from our own destruction. Meditate on this scripture: 1 John 3:1-5:12, as it showers us with the great love of our Lord. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” With His love, what more do we need?

 

1 John 3.1

 

Scripture References:

https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#booklist

**Generation References:

http://www.esds1.pt/site/images/stories/isacosta/secondary_pages/10%C2%BA_block1/Generations%20Chart.pdf

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/03/here-is-when-each-generation-begins-and-ends-according-to-facts/359589/

http://www.genconnection.com/lmu/5th/List%20of%20generations%20-%20Wikipedia,%20the%20free%20encyclopedia.pdf

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2011/05/living/infographic.boomer/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation

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Hurt People…Hurt People

When I started this blog, I had in my mind a progression of blogs that would tell a story. But, alas, life hit and my path took a few forks.

In my first two posts I wrote about the ugliness of divorce and the effect it has on families, and on our society. While the subject can be quite depressing, my intent, if not successful, was to convey God’s redemption and restoration. I know first-hand we can have a great life after divorce. I know a lot of people who live in a much healthier state of mind, emotions, and well-being after healing from divorce. But what is not expressed, especially by main-stream society, is the baggage that will be carried for life, even for those who carry the least amount of fault. I say least, because in divorce, no one is without fault. No one.

Our society has been living on no absolutes for about thirty years now. We are so lost in our own self-preservation we forget how to truly love…unconditionally. For the most part, our society does not understand the concept of love. Love is unselfish. Yet, we love for ourselves. Then we hurt.

The cosmic question of the day: Why do people hurt people? I believe research concludes that people hurt others because they were also hurt by others. Hurt people hurt people. In any relationship, if we understand the root cause of an attitude or conflict, the conflict will become inconsequential. At the root of any conflict lies a sin of some sort, usually pride, or lust. Spoiled people hurt people. “Life is all about me.” These days, people are easily offended, even in words not directed at them. Society loves to play the victim. Society loves to lash out. We are a society of extremes. People hurt people. Hurt people hurt people.

So how do we get past that which has hurt us? How do we tumble out of the rain into the sunshine? Whether your pain is from childhood trauma, physical impairments, death of a loved one, abortion, financial problems, bad relationships, or divorce, etc., you can find healing through forgiveness. I would venture to say only through forgiveness. The famous quote by Gandhi, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission” is intended to shift perspective and give control to ourselves rather than those around us. Gandhi used the quote when he practiced civil disobedience to stay strong against his attackers. While on the outside this quote seems to be the answer to all our pain, the reality is we can only rely on our own will to take care of us physically, but the soul will remain empty. Psalm 32:3 says “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” Only when we get to the root of our problem, internal forgiveness, will we be able to walk in true freedom. I know more than anyone the faith it takes to give up control of the pain from wrongs inflicted and let the Lord deal with the injustice. Our nature leans to vengeance. We need justification. But, are our sins any less? Did Jesus not die for us too? God has proven over and over that His vengeance is always just. And sometimes God has a way of “payback” that leaves us shaking our heads knowing only God could pull that off!

And what about those supposed “Christians” or even our “family” who turn on us? Joseph is the perfect example of a man so very hurt by his brothers, friends, and co-workers, yet who refused to seek his own desire for justification. He let God handle every situation. In Genesis 50:19-20 (ESV), he said, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” By releasing his hurt to the Lord’s recompense, he was instrumental in saving two whole nations! Out of jealousy, David was hunted by King Saul. In 1 Samuel 26:10-11 (ESV) David said to Abishai, “Do not destroy him, for who can put out his hand against the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless?”  And David said, “As the Lord lives, the Lord will strike him, or his day will come to die, or he will go down into battle and perish.” And God did just that. Saul perished…and David was held faultless. Will we be faultless if we seek our own revenge?

Let it go. Love as the Lord loves. Live in freedom.

 

“Is not this laid up in store with me,
sealed up in my treasuries?
Vengeance is mine, and recompense,
for the time when their foot shall slip;
for the day of their calamity is at hand,
and their doom comes swiftly.’
 For the Lord will vindicate his people
and have compassion on his servants,
when he sees that their power is gone
and there is none remaining, bond or free.”
~Deuteronomy 32:34-36 (ESV)

 

Let it go

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 
~Romans 12:18-20 (ESV)

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