Job’s Three Friends

What kind of friend are you?

My Three Friends!

“Listen to advice and accept instruction,
that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” ~Proverbs 19:20-21

I have a couple of close friends who are not afraid to tell me when I am going down the wrong path. Sometimes, I just want to smack ’em for telling me what I don’t want to hear… but I love them for speaking the truth in my life. I know they are not speaking from their own selfish desires but from God’s word. They are not speaking from conventional etiquette… they are speaking from God’s heart. (You, my friends, know who you are!)

The book of Job shows God’s perspective. Not everything we experience is of our own doing. Not every situation can be explained by man. Not everything we go through will even be explained by God. If you notice at the end of the story, God does not give Job a reason for his affliction. Yet, God explains to Job, man is small and finite compared to the infinite and all-knowing God. God is omnipotent and omniscient. He made the Behemoth and the Leviathan (Job 40:15 & Job 41:1). God asked Job if he was present when God laid the earth’s foundation (Job 38:4). God reminds us that everything under heaven belongs to him (Job 41:11). Job and his three friends tried unsuccessfully to explain his plight though they did not understand anything beyond their own reasoning (Job 42:3)… a reasoning that came from a limited worldview. God says in Isaiah 55:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” Therefore, unless God himself reveals wisdom, how can we assume to have insight into difficulties others are experiencing? How can we give or receive proper advice?

When Job spoke, he was in a pity-party mode. His discourse sought self-justification, to which God replied in Job 40:8, “Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?” Job tried to put God in his little box. How often do we blame-shift on others to explain the troubles in our lives? “Well, I wouldn’t be going through this or that if they hadn’t done this or that!” Even more so, how typically do we blame-shift on God? We all do. Or, sometimes we feel God is punishing us for some unknown sin. Generally speaking, the saying “what goes around comes around” is true. Yes, God will bring justice, if not in this lifetime, definitely in the next. But not everything that happens in life is the result of anything we or someone else did. Jesus pointed this out in John 9:1-7 to the disciples, who attributed the man’s blindness to him or his parents. Before healing the man, Jesus said “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” It was the same with Job, “So that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

“By pride comes nothing but strife,
But with the well-advised is wisdom.” ~Proverbs 13:10

The problem with Job’s three friends is they spoke from man’s wisdom. They spoke from a work-based mentality. Their assessment of the situation came from their own experiences, traditions, and self-centered views. How many times do we advise someone that they are required to do this or that due to church standards? How often do we give advice based on our own background or station in life or to please others? Oh, “but it’s for the sake of the kids!” Or, “You can’t disappoint your momma!” As with the case of Job, we also are unaware of events in the heavenly realms that affect mankind (Job 1:6-7). Do we heed the advice of friends who ignore that God may have plans that go against man’s conventional wisdom or against our traditions… no matter who it impacts?

When I think of God going against man’s conventional wisdom, I am reminded of how God must have had fun giving the traditional family “blessing” to the younger child rather than the older, a tradition that God himself set up. Jacob and Esau were the most popular siblings whose “blessing” was reversed. So who are we to question God? Is the creator not allowed to create as he sees fit? Several times in my life, I have been given advice from very well-meaning Christian people that seemed right, and they may have been full of love with no intentions to hurt anyone. Then, to find out later that events were going on behind the scenes that I was unaware of, which put a completely different spin on the situation. Because a way seems right to us does not mean that God does not have a better plan. Nor do we pick and choose what God speaks according to our own agenda. Either God says everything, or he says nothing. When we trust the Holy Spirit to guide us, even in decisions that may initially hurt some, God is always behind the scenes working for our good (Romans 8:28). When we give or receive advice that comes from self-centeredness, advice that is man-pleasing, or advice based on one-sided information, God cannot do the work in our lives that will bring about our ultimate good.

Are we never to listen to advice? No. But we sift the words from trusted friends and relatives with the Word of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, no matter how contrary God’s voice is to common traditions. We must have God as our ultimate priority… over everyone. Everyone. Even if what God tells us goes contrary to those closest to us. For Jesus said if we put anyone, even mother, father, son, or daughter above all else, we are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:32-39). We need to consider the source. From what viewpoint is the advice coming? The one person who gave acceptable advice was Elihu. He is not mentioned as one of Job’s friends… or as a relative. Elihu is not deemed as one to be heeded due to his age. He is young. Yet, Job 32:8 says, “But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives understanding.” God’s spirit; not age, not having a PHD behind your name, not worldly learning, or learning from theological seminaries, not even eloquence; but it is God’s Holy Spirit which gives wisdom and understanding. When we seek or give advice, do we seek through prayer for wisdom through God’s spirit, or do we seek advice through our friends or relatives wisdom?

What is amazing about Job’s whole story is the statement Elihu made in Job 34:21, “His eyes are on the ways of men, he sees their every step.” God is shown to be more majestic than we can comprehend, yet He loves us enough to know our every step. At the end of the book, God restores. Love only wants that which is in our best interest, not man’s interest, even when we go through times of great pain. The horrible affliction Job experienced was not only for his own good but for ours as well, to learn lessons of God’s majesty, loyalty, and love. In the end, Job was restored twice over for that which was forfeited.

That’s love.

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**Highlights in color are links for more information.

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(Chickens photo is mine; cats meme is borrowed. And no, I’m not making any money off this blog!)